A New Start

I have read that when one gets goose bumps while listening to music, it is actually the body’s “fight or flight” response due to the intense emotion brought on by said music.

There are a lot of songs that generally give me goose bumps. The Star Spangled Banner is just one example. I love music. I’m not a groupie and I have only been to a few concerts, but I love quality music. I love musicals and I love these new live-action movie musicals.

The fact is that I have not gotten goose bumps listening to music in some time, however. Maybe its because I haven’t been to a football game, a soccer game, a Broadway show or a band concert in a long time. Maybe it’s just because today’s music generally sucks. I think it is because 2018 sucked and I could not be more glad that 2019 is here.

Recently, I saw the movie The Greatest Showman. I absolutely love that soundtrack! I especially love the song from that soundtrack called A Million Dreams. Goosebumps all over the place!

More than the music, though, I love the story. I’ve been to a Ringling Brothers Circus as a child and had a ball. Until recently, I didn’t know the story of P.T. Barnum. What a fascinating man!

This movie makes me more happy than sad, but it does bring back memories from long ago that I have let go… memories that are sad, but make me look forward to the future. More specifically, it makes me look forward to the future of my kids.

Once upon a time, I wanted to be just like my dad and own my own service station. As time passed, I wanted to be a doctor and a Navy officer. Later still, I settled on being a Chemical Engineer. When I was unable to go to the Naval Academy or the University of Arkansas (for Chemical Engineering), I ended up going to UT Chattanooga as a Chemistry major. I was planning to major in Chemistry and become a doctor. Life and partying happened and my grades were not conducive to medical school. About two years into college, I discovered computers. Since then, I have not looked back, but periodically, those old memories of what could have been creep in.

At first, I’m sad at the thought, but quickly, the thought passes and I think of what has resulted in my life that simply would not have happened had my plan worked out.

I would not have met my children’s mother and therefore, no children… at least, not the ones I have now. It is possible that I would not have been saved. I can credit my children’s mother with that too.

Almost 21 years after my first child, I have acquired one more through my second marriage. He’s out of college and pursuing his dream job. My oldest is in college and is already working in her desired career of sales and marketing. The third is in college and pursuing his career in athletic training. I think it is safe to say that God had a different plan for me. For that, I could not imagine a better life. Sure, 2018 sucked, but there is always 2019 and the year after that and so on.

Thus far, I think I’ve done a pretty good job at not using my children in an attempt to make my own dreams come true. What I know, as a parent, is that no matter what plans or dreams I had or have, every parent’s dream is to see their children succeed. How my life has twisted and turned has allowed that to happen. In addition, I want to let God’s plan transpire. Sure, there are things on my own bucket list, but they genuinely pale in comparison to the validation of raising viable human beings and realize they are now in a position to make themselves viable adults and let God’s plan happen for themselves.