Bad Days

I believe that everyone has a set of bad days in their life. Those bad days are things like the death of someone close, maybe a day when someone is diagnosed with cancer, the day when a spouse walks out or divorce papers are served. You know the type of day. I may not have listed it here, but people have them.

Today, I had one of those days. It’s not the first one. I’ve had a few close people die; I’ve had a spouse leave; I’ve had a close person be diagnosed with cancer. Today, I had a child write me a letter saying that they no longer wanted me in their life, at least for a time. Today was definitely bad.

I am somewhere between sad and angry. I won’t go into detail here, but I am having trouble reconciling some things today, as a result.

The point of this post is a little therapeutic, a little bit of venting, a little bit of self-pity and probably some other things. Mostly, it’s just a sad day. I realized that, in my 42 years, I have had a reasonable share of bad days already. The bad days that scare me are the days like today. Ones that I can’t see coming. I know my parents are going to die. Its not a nice thought, but I know its coming. I know my wife will die. Maybe we’ll be one of those cute old couples who die a few hours apart. Who knows? The point is that I still have bad days left and I am scared about it. They are, for certain, to be the worst ones yet. But, at least I know most of them that are coming. I can prepare.

It is impossible to prepare for bad days like today. I think these days are God’s way of reminding you that He is in control and you are not and you need to remember Him always and for reasons unknown to you, but known by Him. Not only are those days know by Him, but planned by Him. Days like today are planned by Him to remind you that you need Him and he is in charge.

I still want my daughter back in my life.

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