On June 27, 2017, my mother-in-law was diagnosed with a tumor on her pancreas that we, later, found out to be cancer. She has been fighting ever since. Today, 329 days later, she is in what will, likely, be her last days in her earthly body. The evening of May 20, 2018, my birthday, we had, what was probably her last coherent conversation. She said, “Children, y’all go home.” Since then, she has been on morphine. Her advanced directive being what it is, there will be nothing else done, except to make her comfortable.
While this is all very sad to us as a family and as human beings. I hurt for my wife, who has to watch her mom fade out. I hurt for my kids, who have to watch their grandmother in such a state. I had a similar experience with my mom, but her condition didn’t get this far and she got another chance at life, here on earth. Its hard to know why some get another chance and some don’t.
I have long held the belief that we, as humans, over-estimate why we are here and what our purpose is. I always believed that we are here for God’s purpose, perhaps just one small purpose. When we are done fulfilling that purpose, God brings us home. I’d like to amend that belief. I think I was sort of right, but sort of wrong. I think that God did put us all here for a purpose and that when we fulfill that purpose, He will bring us home. However, I previously thought that purpose might be big or small, by human standards. What I have come to believe is that it doesn’t matter what we think of our purpose or how big or how small. Our measurements are not God’s measurements and what we think of our magnitude on Earth doesn’t really matter.
How many times have you done something, seemingly small, only to find out later that it has affected someone else much more than you thought? This thing could be good or bad. It may have affected some person in a very good way or a very bad one. I think that we, as human beings, are generally bad a judging others or our impact on others. As such, I think that we should err on the side of caution. Just be good to each other and love each other. How can you go wrong with that? That is the greatest commandment, isn’t it?
My mother-in-law’s purpose on Earth is complete, in God’s eyes… whatever that purpose may be. She showed love to me and my children when Melissa and I got married. She has showed love to all of us since then and, to me, that is what matters. Perhaps her purpose didn’t have anything to do with us. Maybe it was someone else we don’t even know. Maybe it doesn’t have anything to do with anyone. Perhaps it was just some thing. Whatever the case, she will be resting in her new Heavenly home, pain free and, hopefully, watching down on us with smile. We will miss you, Cheri.