Rough Weekend

This past Friday, something happened that would change my life. To stop speculation, I am still married, everyone still loves each other, no one died, kids are okay, everyone is still in school, dogs are fine, house is fine, truck is fine, my relationship with God is still in tact. Nothing has changed except for something at the very root of my being.

What happened is that I became aware of a secret that was intended to be kept until the holder of the secret had passed on. At which point, it could only then remain speculation. I hesitate to write about it because I simply cannot get into specifics. Right now, knowledge of this secret only directly affects me and less than a hand full of others. If the specifics were discussed, it would affect a very large number of people, probably in a negative way.

It changes my view of myself, it changes my view, in some ways, of people I love. It changes my view of one of my beloved hobbies and the power which pursuit of that hobby can potentially wield. It will change how I pursue that hobby… or even if I continue pursuit of that hobby. There was, at least, one good thing that came of my acquisition of this knowledge, but how good remains to be seen. Some day I will write more, but quite simply, until a few more people die, this is better kept to the few people who currently know the details. I just wanted to write a little because that is how I make sense of some of this stuff.

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