As is probably true for many people, today is a day of reflection for me. For starters, on January 1, 2010, my mom got her new liver. This was after spending Thanksgiving and Christmas of 2009 in the hospital. The thought is bitter-sweet because those few months were, simultaneously, the worst and best I can remember. The worst, because I had to sit there an listen to my mom beg God to bring her home. The best, because he said, “Not yet.”
In 2017, I saw one child graduate high school, I saw another graduate college.
In 2017, I reached a low in a relationship with one of my children. I little bit later, I reached a high with that child when we reconciled.
In 2017, we moved out of the first house Melissa and I bought together and into another. After a renovation of that second house, we’re still on speaking terms. 🙂
In 2017, I received my 4th-32nd degrees in the Scottish Rite and began my journey in the York Rite.
In 2017, my mother-in-law was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
In 2017, I attended my 25th high school reunion.
I apologize if this post of all over the place, but this year has been somewhat of an emotional roller coaster for me. A week or so ago, I posted one of those things on Facebook that asked people to post a memory we shared. All of the posts were fun and some of the memories were ones that I didn’t even remember. It is nice to have a positive impact on people and have that impact endure. That being said, many of those memories were from when I was younger. I was different then.
I don’t see myself, today, as quite as “nice” as everyone thought of me when I was younger. I see myself as weathered, somewhat jaded and I feel like I look that part. I don’t feel like I have aged as well as I could have.
My youngest son posted something on Instagram, earlier today, that made me think. I love it when he does that. 🙂 He said, “NOTHING is irredeemable. It can be fixed with prayer and some hard work.”
In 2018, I hope to redeem myself in many ways. I want to better myself physically by getting back in the gym. I want to build on the relationships I have established with my kids since they have become adults. I want to be a more thoughtful husband. I want to do my job better. All of this, I guess, is pretty standard New Year’s resolution stuff, so nothing real earth-shattering.
However, the biggest thing I’ve been thinking about recently, is that I want to be the person people thought I was when I was younger. I wonder if TODAY, those people would think the same of me that they thought when I was younger. I don’t think so. With God’s help, I hope to change that in 2018. I love you all!