I am sitting here on our couch, in our newly renovated home. Night #2. I’ve had a chance to relax a bit, but there is still quite a bit to do. Put things up here and then get our old house ready for renters and sale.

However, tonight I am really thinking of my mother-in-law. For those who haven’t ready any of my other posts, she has pancreatic cancer. From what I understand, she has already outlasted their initial estimates of life expectancy. With that said, two days before Thanksgiving 2017, I can’t help but wonder if this will be her last set of holidays. I wonder if she thinks about it that way. Is she scared? We kind of poke fun because she is worrying about everything getting taken care of before her likely passing, but the more I think about it, its a valid concern. I’m scared for her. I haven’t been to the doctor regularly for a long time. I get check ups at work, with our biometric screenings and I donate blood regularly. They do some screening for things. I’m also a bone marrow donor. Same story there. However, I am partially scared to go to a doctor because I’m afraid of what they might find. I know that reasoning is stupid, but that how it is in my mind.

Most of all, I worry for Melissa. Her mom and Christopher was her life for most of her life. Of course she still has Christopher and, for a period of time, her mom. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to comfort her in the way she will need when her mom dies.

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